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The Tyburn Hornpipe

from Sweet Apples from a Lemon Tree by Andy McLaughlin

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The Tyburn Hornpipe was a popular name for the macabre 'dance' the poor unfortunates did as the noose pulled tight...


One, two, three four five, five little bankers all in a line
Hands outstretched with a begging bowl - you must be bloody joking!
Here's my wallet, you can take the lot, there's not much left but it's all I've got
You can save it all for a rainy day, or stick it where the sun don't shine!

You're a bunch of bloody chancers! You're not welcome here any more
Sling your hook, and don't come back - don't need the likes of you
Fat little piggies, all in a row, pink little arses all on show
Snouts in the trough, go boys go! Get it while you can!

A nice little house in Tuscany, a pied-a-terre in the Pyrennees
I'll take my money where I please; mind your own bloody business!
I'm all right Jack, devil take the rest, I will do what I do best
I'll charge you compound interest and spend it all on me!


There's a man lives not too far from me - he's not a bad fellow for an old Tory
So I thought I'd ask, how can it be you let them have our eyes out?
We've got to pay them all full whack, or they'll be gone, and won't come back
Over the hills and far away, and what would we do then?


Not content with what they've got, they'll squeeze you for each tiny drop
I'd like to take the bloody lot and march them to the gallows!
Stand the buggers back to back, put a rope around each neck
String 'em up, and watch 'em dance, doing the Tyburn Hornpipe!



from Sweet Apples from a Lemon Tree, released January 29, 2021


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Andy McLaughlin Durham, UK

Celtic accompanist and singer/songwriter

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